Day 39, It’s over!

All good things must come to an end and so it is with my "vacation". The FedEx guy just showed up at my door bearing the magic envelope so if all goes as planned, I will be sitting at my desk, once again a member of the working poor, as of Tuesday, September 30. Appropriately, that will be Day 42.

Day 38 To Do list

Things I should do today:

1. Clean out the fridge so I can...
2. Put away groceries I bought today
3. Cut up the watermelon that is taking up half the fridge
4. Finish going through the hallway bookshelf and sorting through the trash/rummage/keep piles
5. Do same with bedroom bookshelf (the contents of which are currently all over the floor because I was looking for something in a mad panic)
6. Go through the big pile of rummage by the back door and figure out who to dump it on, I mean donate it to
7. Apply for 2 more jobs so I can file for unemployment again

Things I will probably do instead:

1. Drive to Hunt Valley for meatzels (done!)
2. Catch up on Wordscraper games (done!)
3. Blog (working on it)
4. Level my priest some more
   

Day 38

So not so much a phone interview as a 10-minute phone screen…

I think I nailed the interview portion with my speech on how I will bring about world peace through a hybridization of Scrum and Waterfall methodologies but I'm sure I lost points in the swimsuit round. We'll see if I make it to the semifinals with Miss Austin, Texas and Miss Marin County, California. I hope that bitch, Miss South Carolina, doesn't steal my spot again.

Day 37

I have stopped waiting for the fedex guy, now that I know the paperwork, unlike Elvis, has not yet left the building. I called and checked after the 4th IM/text message/email saying, "Hey! I hear you start on Monday! they are already setting up your computer." Well, at least IT is efficient...

Observations from Day 36

1. Leaving the house for an hour and a half will not make the fedex guy show up but at least you will have some new bras to show for it from the trip to walmart
   
2. Many things sound like a fedex truck when you have your back to the front door and are trying to pretend you aren't listening for the fedex truck. Such as:
   
   1. Newspaper delivery guy
      
   2. Heating oil delivery guy
      
   3. Schoolbus
      
   4. Mailman
      
   5. Neighbor across the street whose civic needs a tune-up
      
   6. Your hopes and dreams being dashed on the rocks of despair

Day 36

It turns out, what I am waiting for is not an email or a phone call but a FedEx package. So the phone/email checking behavior bordering on OCD has now become FedEx guy stalking behavior. And because the universe just can't help but fuck with me just a little, not 5 minutes after I found out I was waiting for FedEx, the UPS guy shows up at my door. I get all excited as he is walking down the path, thinking they must use UPS overnight because it is cheaper (how efficient of them) but no. It is the charcoal chimney I ordered on Sunday because ours fell apart. sigh.

Day 35

So the kick ass cover letter may actually have done its job. I sent it to a company that had no jobs listed on its website I was even remotely qualified for and Presto! A week later, I get an email from them asking me if would like to have a phone interview with them. Now I won't get into the fact that this company is less than half an hour from my house and 5 minutes from all the other game companies in Hunt Valley but I guess they need to protect themselves from the average psycho game developer who might, if give an in person interview, lose their minds and go on a rampage, knocking over action figures and tearing down Guitar Hero 2 posters from random cube walls. But there is nothing about a phone interview that physically prevents the candidate from calling the director of HR a skank ho so it still has its risks.

Still no written offer and to appear as if I was not obsessively checking my email every 5 minutes I spent the morning cleaning out my inbox and organizing a list of all the job applications I have sent just in case the unemployment people decide to come check up on me. It is amazing how many people have been offered the benefit of my vast array of talents and yet have not even bothered to reply. I can only assume they are paralyzed by my brilliance.

Day 34 continued

I just reread the email I got from the HR dept at place I am waiting for written offer from asking for an updated version of my application, since the one they had was more than 6 months old. They specifically asked me to update the "salary history" section. Well, I am screwed. I have no idea. They are lucky I can tell them how much I was making when I left my last job. There's no way I can remember what my starting and leaving salaries were for jobs over the last ten years! It's a miracle I remember the names of the HR managers at those jobs. I guess all I can do is pray they answer my pathetic email asking for my own salary info. I wonder if HIPAA laws prevent them from giving that to me?

Day 34

It's always a good day when you start it out by filing for 2 more weeks of unemployment benefits. Woo hoo! $600 more dollaz in my pocket!

I will not obsessively check mail for written offer. I will not obsessively check mail for written offer. I will not obsessively check mail for written offer. I will not obsessively check mail for written offer. I will not obsessively check mail for written offer. I will not obsessively check mail for written offer. I will not obsessively check mail for written offer. I will not obsessively check mail for written offer. I will not obsessively check mail for written offer. I will not obsessively check mail for written offer. I will not obsessively check mail for written offer. I will not obsessively check mail for written offer.

You’re Invited…

It's a party! Help me celebrate the one month anniversary of the day I got laid off from work!

When: all day today, maybe all weekend!

Where: under the covers with a blanket pulled over my head

Attire: bathrobe, lounge pants/sweat pants, flip-flops, unwashed hair

Menu: chocolate and vodka

Day 31

Here we go again. Verbal offer. I will try not to get too excited. Why can't this ever be easy? I was so comfortable in the place where nothing was really happening but I had a lot of interesting, potentially life-changing leads. Now I have to decide if I want to go back to doing something I have already done before but in a new and different environment, with a bunch of really great people. Or... I could wait to see what is behind door #2 and possibly throw away my one chance at employment for the next few months.

Oh yeah, it's only a verbal offer. Can't get ahead of myself yet.

Getting you up to date…

Because being unemployed is so much fun, I have decided it is cruel of me not to share this experience with the world. But so much has happened since that fateful day I need to bring you up to speed.

Prologue - August, 2008

There I was, happily producing my game when the black clouds started to form. Long story short… funding lost, project in jeopardy, things look bad.

THE DAY

"I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go." Well, shit. Now WTF do I do?

Sob. File for unemployment benefits. Sob

Day 2 of My Inactivity

Lunch with former coworkers, some still employed, some not. Party afterwards with different mix of employed and unemployed people. More fun than I expected but still hard.

Day 3

Wallow in self-pity. Sob. Repeat.

Day 4

Oh, it's the weekend. How meaningless. Wallow.

Day 5

Wallow.

Day 6

Resolve to stop wallowing. Begin to furiously email all of my contacts at game companies in the area. Pretty up resume. Resolve not to sit around gaming all day and to work very hard at finding job.

Day 7

Joy! I have an interview! It's for a job that is one step back from what I was doing and will probably involve a noticeable pay cut. But I have an interview! Rejoice!

Day 8

Panic. Buy 360 version of latest game from company where I am interviewing and play obsessively.

Day 9

Day of interview begins with 8am phone interrogation with Unemployment Office. I have no idea what they asked or what I told them. Why schedule anything at 8am for people who no longer have a reason to get up?

Quell rising waves of terror. Put on pearls and heels.

I am charming, I radiate competence. They love me. Or so I think. This is based on the fact that they make me a verbal offer (involving a HUGE pay cut) and tell me I will hear from them early next week.

Rejoice! Someone wants me. And they give me DS version of game as lovely parting gift.

Day 10

Try not to be over confident. Check email obsessively even though they said early next week.

Days 11 & 12

Meaningless weekend again.

Day 13

Wonder if Monday = early. Obsessively check email.

Day 14

Repeat Day 13

Day 15

Repeat Day 13.

Day 16

Receive email response to unrelated query to company who was supposed to make offer "early this week" saying they are "interviewing some more candidates and will keep me posted." Huh.

Finally take pity on HR at old job who is getting a lot of crap about the fact that I have been gone over 2 weeks and still haven't cleaned out old office and go in to pick up stuff. Had scheduled lunch with friend at another game company for same day to save gas and end up applying for QA job because "interviewing some more candidates" sounds scary.

Go into old office after lunch. OMG! How did I manage to accumulate so much crap in 3.5 years? Load car and drive home sobbing.

Day 17

Convince myself that I will never find another game job and make new Technical Writer and Project Manager resumes. Spend afternoon blanketing any job that looks remotely promising on CareerBuilder with same.

Days 18 & 19

Taking the weekend off to wallow.

Day 20

I schedule an interview for QA job and try not to get too excited. It's not my first choice job but hear it is a great company to work for.

I discover an old email from a consulting company that I had ignored back when I had a job and call them immediately. I set up interview for same day as other interview (to save gas).

Go for broke and schedule meeting about doing some freelance work (emphasis on free) for former coworker's startup for same day as 2 interviews.

I slowly begin to realize I am insane.

I decide to broaden my search and try to find a listing of all the game companies in Maryland. I find a map and wile away the hours converting it to a spreadsheet with URLs for all of the companies. After finding almost no producer positions and the ones I find, I'm not remotely qualified for, I realize I need to write a kick ass cover letter explaining why they should hire me anyway. But I decide that can wait until after the day of interviews because, who knows? I might not need it after all…

Day 21

Quell rising panic.

First unemployment checks arrive! Hooray pittance!

Day 22

Breakfast meeting about startup. Yeah, I can do that and it will give me something to put on my resume to cover the gap.

Kill 2 hours at Wegman's drinking $1.27 bottle of water and sucking up their free WiFi.

Interview #1 for QA job is hard. Early on, I realize that my vow not to play World of Warcraft until I find a new job because I am afraid if I do, I will stop really looking has backfired. It might have been better to bone up on MMOs before going to interview at company making MMO. Mind goes horribly blank when asked "what is your favorite zone in the current version of WoW?" I cannot think of the name of a single zone. But I redeem myself with answer to question, "How many 5-year olds do you think you could take in a fight?"

Off to Interview #2 with consulting company. The full force of the pearls and heels overtakes me and I once again radiate charm and confidence. At the end, the interviewer tells me, "I present well." Aw shucks, that's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time. Sadly, this is true. He will begin at once to find me placement with one of their many clients. I will begin at once not to hold my breath.

In the car on the way home, I think of the perfect answer to the "what's your favorite zone?" question and vow to write it down for the next time I get laid off and apply at MMO company.

Day 23

I feel positive about the previous day's meetings but after the first interview disaster, I no longer trust my ability to read people. The silence is deafening from first company I interviewed with.

Quell the current wave of rising panic by sending out pathetic request to everyone I am liked to on LinkedIn that I think will say nice things to please write me a recommendation. I feel like a whore but they come flooding in and my self esteem is saved for another day.

Back up to Hunt Valley for lunch with former coworkers and another meeting about the startup. When I get home, after the grueling day before, I reward myself with some WoW time.

Day 24

I realize that even though I had 2 interviews already this week, I had counted them as "new business contacts" the previous week so I have to send out more resumes for unemployment. Sign up for Dice.com thinking I will find better technical writing/training or project management positions there. I do not. I send out 2 so I won't have to worry.

I attempt to write the kick ass cover letter but instead spend hours staring at a blank screen and go back to playing WoW.

Day 25

It dawns on me that I need some professional help with the kick ass cover letter so I head out to Barnes & Noble to peruse their selection of How To Write Cover Letters books. I find something called 15-Minute Cover Letter that seems pretty good. While I am there, I decide to get myself a copy of the most recent edition of What Color Is Your Parachute?. The subtitle "finding a job in hard times" seems very appropriate. It's really hot this weekend so I hole up in the bedroom and start to read.

Day 26

That book should come with the razor blades, barbiturates, and whiskey shrink wrapped to it. The first chapter could have been subtitled, "Everything you have done so far is wrong but it doesn't really matter because statistically you are never going to work again anyway." I slogged through the next couple of chapters of how to look for a job correctly but it occurs to me that many of the suggested techniques would result in a restraining order in the games industry. My parachute is black.

Day 27

Must. Write. Cover letter.

The book is open, I have a blank page in front of me. I will write something. There is actually a producer job I am qualified for at a company not too far away. I don't know anyone there so my cover letter will actually have to be my introduction. Scary.

It must be pretty good. I throw up a little in my mouth as I am rereading it. That has always been my litmus test of good MarComm writing. The die is cast. The resume and new, kick ass cover letter are sent.

Day 28

Another meeting about the startup but this time I get a free lunch out of it. I have lots of homework but it can wait. I am leveling a new horde alt and that is important.

Day 29

Finally, a day with no meetings and no reason to get out of my PJs. Well, maybe I will change into lounge pants. I need to visit the parent company website to get a grip on where to start with this writing task. Oh the horror! I must resist the urge to stop everything for a complete copy edit. OK, first task done. Now I can edit! There is probably something wrong with me that I enjoyed that so much.

What I am not enjoying is my complete inability to get Treasure Chest #6 in the Well of Souls level of Lego Indiana Jones. After an hour, I am ready to throw my controller through the TV. Back to WoW.

Day 30

That's today. I wrote a really long blog post.