Because being unemployed is so much fun, I have decided it is cruel of me not to share this experience with the world. But so much has happened since that fateful day I need to bring you up to speed.
Prologue - August, 2008
There I was, happily producing my game when the black clouds started to form. Long story short… funding lost, project in jeopardy, things look bad.
THE DAY
"I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go." Well, shit. Now WTF do I do?
Sob. File for unemployment benefits. Sob
Day 2 of My Inactivity
Lunch with former coworkers, some still employed, some not. Party afterwards with different mix of employed and unemployed people. More fun than I expected but still hard.
Day 3
Wallow in self-pity. Sob. Repeat.
Day 4
Oh, it's the weekend. How meaningless. Wallow.
Day 5
Wallow.
Day 6
Resolve to stop wallowing. Begin to furiously email all of my contacts at game companies in the area. Pretty up resume. Resolve not to sit around gaming all day and to work very hard at finding job.
Day 7
Joy! I have an interview! It's for a job that is one step back from what I was doing and will probably involve a noticeable pay cut. But I have an interview! Rejoice!
Day 8
Panic. Buy 360 version of latest game from company where I am interviewing and play obsessively.
Day 9
Day of interview begins with 8am phone interrogation with Unemployment Office. I have no idea what they asked or what I told them. Why schedule anything at 8am for people who no longer have a reason to get up?
Quell rising waves of terror. Put on pearls and heels.
I am charming, I radiate competence. They love me. Or so I think. This is based on the fact that they make me a verbal offer (involving a HUGE pay cut) and tell me I will hear from them early next week.
Rejoice! Someone wants me. And they give me DS version of game as lovely parting gift.
Day 10
Try not to be over confident. Check email obsessively even though they said early next week.
Days 11 & 12
Meaningless weekend again.
Day 13
Wonder if Monday = early. Obsessively check email.
Day 14
Repeat Day 13
Day 15
Repeat Day 13.
Day 16
Receive email response to unrelated query to company who was supposed to make offer "early this week" saying they are "interviewing some more candidates and will keep me posted." Huh.
Finally take pity on HR at old job who is getting a lot of crap about the fact that I have been gone over 2 weeks and still haven't cleaned out old office and go in to pick up stuff. Had scheduled lunch with friend at another game company for same day to save gas and end up applying for QA job because "interviewing some more candidates" sounds scary.
Go into old office after lunch. OMG! How did I manage to accumulate so much crap in 3.5 years? Load car and drive home sobbing.
Day 17
Convince myself that I will never find another game job and make new Technical Writer and Project Manager resumes. Spend afternoon blanketing any job that looks remotely promising on CareerBuilder with same.
Days 18 & 19
Taking the weekend off to wallow.
Day 20
I schedule an interview for QA job and try not to get too excited. It's not my first choice job but hear it is a great company to work for.
I discover an old email from a consulting company that I had ignored back when I had a job and call them immediately. I set up interview for same day as other interview (to save gas).
Go for broke and schedule meeting about doing some freelance work (emphasis on free) for former coworker's startup for same day as 2 interviews.
I slowly begin to realize I am insane.
I decide to broaden my search and try to find a listing of all the game companies in Maryland. I find a map and wile away the hours converting it to a spreadsheet with URLs for all of the companies. After finding almost no producer positions and the ones I find, I'm not remotely qualified for, I realize I need to write a kick ass cover letter explaining why they should hire me anyway. But I decide that can wait until after the day of interviews because, who knows? I might not need it after all…
Day 21
Quell rising panic.
First unemployment checks arrive! Hooray pittance!
Day 22
Breakfast meeting about startup. Yeah, I can do that and it will give me something to put on my resume to cover the gap.
Kill 2 hours at Wegman's drinking $1.27 bottle of water and sucking up their free WiFi.
Interview #1 for QA job is hard. Early on, I realize that my vow not to play World of Warcraft until I find a new job because I am afraid if I do, I will stop really looking has backfired. It might have been better to bone up on MMOs before going to interview at company making MMO. Mind goes horribly blank when asked "what is your favorite zone in the current version of WoW?" I cannot think of the name of a single zone. But I redeem myself with answer to question, "How many 5-year olds do you think you could take in a fight?"
Off to Interview #2 with consulting company. The full force of the pearls and heels overtakes me and I once again radiate charm and confidence. At the end, the interviewer tells me, "I present well." Aw shucks, that's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time. Sadly, this is true. He will begin at once to find me placement with one of their many clients. I will begin at once not to hold my breath.
In the car on the way home, I think of the perfect answer to the "what's your favorite zone?" question and vow to write it down for the next time I get laid off and apply at MMO company.
Day 23
I feel positive about the previous day's meetings but after the first interview disaster, I no longer trust my ability to read people. The silence is deafening from first company I interviewed with.
Quell the current wave of rising panic by sending out pathetic request to everyone I am liked to on LinkedIn that I think will say nice things to please write me a recommendation. I feel like a whore but they come flooding in and my self esteem is saved for another day.
Back up to Hunt Valley for lunch with former coworkers and another meeting about the startup. When I get home, after the grueling day before, I reward myself with some WoW time.
Day 24
I realize that even though I had 2 interviews already this week, I had counted them as "new business contacts" the previous week so I have to send out more resumes for unemployment. Sign up for Dice.com thinking I will find better technical writing/training or project management positions there. I do not. I send out 2 so I won't have to worry.
I attempt to write the kick ass cover letter but instead spend hours staring at a blank screen and go back to playing WoW.
Day 25
It dawns on me that I need some professional help with the kick ass cover letter so I head out to Barnes & Noble to peruse their selection of How To Write Cover Letters books. I find something called 15-Minute Cover Letter that seems pretty good. While I am there, I decide to get myself a copy of the most recent edition of What Color Is Your Parachute?. The subtitle "finding a job in hard times" seems very appropriate. It's really hot this weekend so I hole up in the bedroom and start to read.
Day 26
That book should come with the razor blades, barbiturates, and whiskey shrink wrapped to it. The first chapter could have been subtitled, "Everything you have done so far is wrong but it doesn't really matter because statistically you are never going to work again anyway." I slogged through the next couple of chapters of how to look for a job correctly but it occurs to me that many of the suggested techniques would result in a restraining order in the games industry. My parachute is black.
Day 27
Must. Write. Cover letter.
The book is open, I have a blank page in front of me. I will write something. There is actually a producer job I am qualified for at a company not too far away. I don't know anyone there so my cover letter will actually have to be my introduction. Scary.
It must be pretty good. I throw up a little in my mouth as I am rereading it. That has always been my litmus test of good MarComm writing. The die is cast. The resume and new, kick ass cover letter are sent.
Day 28
Another meeting about the startup but this time I get a free lunch out of it. I have lots of homework but it can wait. I am leveling a new horde alt and that is important.
Day 29
Finally, a day with no meetings and no reason to get out of my PJs. Well, maybe I will change into lounge pants. I need to visit the parent company website to get a grip on where to start with this writing task. Oh the horror! I must resist the urge to stop everything for a complete copy edit. OK, first task done. Now I can edit! There is probably something wrong with me that I enjoyed that so much.
What I am not enjoying is my complete inability to get Treasure Chest #6 in the Well of Souls level of Lego Indiana Jones. After an hour, I am ready to throw my controller through the TV. Back to WoW.
Day 30
That's today. I wrote a really long blog post.
2 comments:
You are a great writer. I recognize my own month-long jobless dry spell and the accompanying depression, self-doubt, panic, guessing and second-guessing, networking, hope, dashed hopes, and all the rest of it. I seemed to have far more days where I couldn't seem to get out of bed, and I didn't ever don pearls /or/ heels, but otherwise, my experience was very much like yours.
I can tell you that after finding a new writing gig, life was, again, good. I can also tell you that I'm both more fragile and more resiliant than I was before. Is that weird?
Hang in there - you're too good not to land on your feet. I mean that.
You are definately too good not to land on your feet.
However, I hate looking for jobs. It's like some horrible corporate version of dating, at high speed. And I didn't like dating that much.
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